


these small hours

by ShowMeAHero



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 14:22:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15121322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShowMeAHero/pseuds/ShowMeAHero
Summary: “Magnus,” he says, choked, and Magnus looks back at him, and he’s remembering, too. He leaves Barry behind and sprints at Taako and scoops him up, wrapping his huge arms around Taako’s waist and slamming them together, like he can’t get close enough. Taako’s legs cinch around Magnus, his arms around his neck, and he holds on for dear life as Magnus sobs into his neck.(Or: Taako and Magnus get their memories back, and now they need to negotiate some emotions, because they're having a hell of a lot of them all at once.)





	these small hours

**Author's Note:**

> All I've been doing lately is working and listening to _The Adventure Zone_ because sometimes, that's all you have in life.
> 
> The title was taken from ["Little Wonders"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhZ1BdMtw_Q) by Rob Thomas.

The memories hit Taako all at once, and his brain almost fries itself trying to process them all. He falls to one knee, his head between his hands, clutching at his ears, at his hair. He remembers Lup, and, fucking hell, how could he have forgotten _Lup?_ His own _sister?_ The other half of himself, of his entire life — it was Lup, and he forgot her, and _how could he forget her?_

He remembers every smiling face, every almost-mistake and every catastrophe, every time they saw each other die, _everything._ His chest _aches_ for missing her so much.

He turns his head and looks at Merle, who looks completely bewildered, staring straight ahead. Taako looks up in the direction he’s facing, and sees Magnus’ face, where Magnus stands in the doorway. The Hunger doesn’t mean shit to him in that moment, because his brain barely has enough space for remembering _Magnus._ For every inch of pain he has now for forgetting Lup, he’s got the same for forgetting Magnus.

He squeezes his head tighter with his palms as the memories of Magnus come flooding back into him. A century with Magnus, living and dying and living again. Watching Magnus die and feeling the worst pain he’s ever felt, even though he knows they’ll always come back. Every cycle where they’ve had to start over and they come back together again, every single _fucking_ time they had to try again.

He remembers not only that, but all the little moments, too. He remembers sitting up with Magnus, late into the night — or what passed for night, for them —, the two of them cross-legged on one of their bunks, talking about anything, about everything. He remembers Magnus pressing him into the bunks, the floors, the walls, the tables — anywhere they wanted, because they had all the time in the world — and kissing him senseless. He remembers falling in love with Magnus over, and over, and _over_ again.

And now it’s juxtaposed with the life that came afterwards, when he started over from scratch and had to live without the people who made him whole. Without Lup, without Magnus — with everyone he ever cared for taken from him, he tried to function on his own, and instead ended up getting his ass beat by Sazed regularly until the bastard made him an accomplice to forty murders. He lost _everything_ — his family, his lover, his friends, and the only things he was ever good at. It’s a fucking wonder he even made it to meeting Magnus and Merle again in the first place.

God, even when he found Magnus again, something in him _knew,_ even if he couldn’t figure it out with his head. His chest knew. His hands knew. He found Magnus all over again, just like he had for the century before. But they were new people; different than any other cycle before, and Magnus had had Julia, and Taako had had Sazed, and Glamour Springs, and they became entirely different people.

But not so different that they didn’t fall together again, that they didn’t leave Merle asleep at the campsite to hide in the woods and kiss each other senseless and fuck against a tree, Magnus’ huge hand over Taako’s mouth to keep him quiet so they wouldn’t wake Merle up. Not so different that when Magnus sat up late in his room at the Bureau of Balance, his light still on so that Taako saw it when he was in the kitchen, that Taako didn’t stop and push the door open and ask why he was still up. That Magnus sat there, spinning his wedding ring, staring at his own hands, and Taako went and sat next to him quietly and just leaned his head on his shoulder, offering whatever he could to a man who was always going to be half in love with a dead woman. And they understood that, and Taako found affection for the other half he needed—

And, oh, _God, Kravitz._ Kravitz, who’s still missing, who Taako saw drowning, who Taako couldn’t save but who must still be out there, somewhere, because Taako thinks he would _know_ if Kravitz died, he would just _know_ somehow. And now Taako’s been in love with Magnus for over a hundred years, but _this_ Taako has been in love with Kravitz for months, and Magnus for a couple years, and _nothing_ is easy, and his brain is _screaming_ at him—

“Magnus,” he says, choked, and Magnus looks back at him, and he’s remembering, too. He leaves Barry behind and sprints at Taako and scoops him up, wrapping his huge arms around Taako’s waist and slamming them together, like he can’t get close enough. Taako’s legs cinch around Magnus, his arms around his neck, and he holds on for dear life as Magnus sobs into his neck.

“Fucking shit,” Merle says at their side. Taako can hear him start talking to Davenport, the two of them starting to head towards the Hunger, but Magnus hasn’t put him down yet.

“I remember,” Magnus says. “I remember— _everything,_ I remember everything, I know you were worried that I wouldn’t, but I _do.”_

“Thank fuck,” Taako replies, but his voice is muffled by Magnus’ throat.

“I remember all of it,” Magnus says again. Taako can feel tears in his own eyes, because even though new Taako tries not to cry in front of other people, old Taako and new Taako alike both trust Magnus implicitly. And now that he’s some weird combination of the two, some amalgamation of two different men who lived two entirely different lives, he feels weirdly free to let himself cry into Magnus’ skin in this moment, because he remembers all of it, too.

“I know you’re having a thing,” Merle tells them, “because I also remember your thing, but we—”

Taako releases Magnus and whirls on Lucretia, aiming the Umbra Staff at her head. He can feel Magnus moving behind him, too, and suddenly he can see the Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword Of Doom leveled at Lucretia, right next to his head. The energy that Magnus had that got him over to Taako seems to be flagging, and he put his left hand on Taako’s shoulder, holding himself up. Looking into Lucretia’s face, he’s never felt anger like this before. Not even _with_ the century’s worth of memories he’s just recovered. Not even with his hundred-plus years of experience, now, he’s _never_ been this angry. He’d kill Governor Kalen a thousand times, he’d kill Sazed a million times, but he’d give it all up, in this exact moment, to punch Lucretia right in her _fucking_ face.

“Start talking,” it sounds like Magnus says to her, but Taako can’t be sure, because his blood is roaring in his ears and he just lost his sister all over again and Magnus is finally back with him and this woman took _everything_ from him.

* * *

When it’s all over, and everything has settled, there’s just Taako sobbing on the floor while Kravitz holds him in his lap, stroking his cold fingers through his hair. Taako doesn’t even know why he’s crying; earlier, they were celebrating, and he was thrilled, and now all the adrenaline has gone out of him and he’s crying on the fucking floor.

“It’s alright,” Kravitz keeps saying, in a way that doesn’t suggest he wants Taako to stop, but moreso in a way that suggests he just wants Taako to be grounded, to remember he’s there, that things might _eventually_ be alright, even if they’re not now.

Taako had already told him everything, because he needed to say it, even if Kravitz had to know it already anyways. And he had known it already, of course, but he let Taako speak, let him pour it all out into the space between them.

“Taako,” Kravitz had said, when it was all out. “Of course you love him. Of course that’s okay. Do you know how long I’ve been alive? And how long _you’ve_ been alive? A-And how long we’ll both be alive after this?” Taako had shaken his head. “You have so much time to love, and you have so much love to give, and how could I say no to that?”

Taako agreed fully, but that was when he had started crying, and, well, it’s been a _long_ few days. Or months. Or, really, centuries.

After they’d talked it all out, and Kravitz had held him until he’d calmed down, and they both saw Magnus’ light turn on down the hall, Kravitz kisses him on the forehead. He rubs his hands together to warm them up, then takes Taako’s face in his hands. His hands are still clammy, but Taako still lets his eyes slide shut as Kravitz presses his lips to his forehead, and they sit there, motionless, Taako in Kravitz’s lap, Kravitz’s mouth on his skin, for a long moment.

“Fuck,” Taako says, laughing wetly, pulling back from Kravitz and rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes until he sees static. “Sorry, dude. I’m just— _Ugh,_ you know? You know how it is?”

“I know,” Kravitz agrees. He cards his hands through Taako’s long, long hair again, dark fingers catching on silvery-white blonde hair. He takes fistfuls and presses their foreheads together, and Taako finds himself matching his easy breathing patterns, even though Kravitz probably doesn’t even need to fucking breathe, if he even has lungs? Taako reaches up and takes fistfuls of Kravitz’s hair in return, trying to push them even closer together.

“Go talk to him,” Kravitz says. Taako exhales shakily, then pulls away, finally. He gets up on shaky legs and straightens out his skirt, smoothes down his crop top. It had been a top he had had in his things for as long as he could remember, and now that he remembers everything, he’s realized it used to be Magnus’ shirt, but that he and Lup cut it down and sewed it into a rockin’ crop top and Magnus had laughed and laughed at it, at the time, and had gotten himself a second version of the same shirt so they could match, which Taako had pretended to hate but Magnus had always seen right through him and—

 _“Go_ talk to him,” Kravitz says again. He stands up and dusts himself off, then kisses Taako on the forehead again before crouching down to kiss him on the lips. He holds out a hand and manifests his scythe, cutting a hole into the air. His face vanishes to reveal the skull underneath, his fiery cloak coming on over his clothes. He takes one step into the portal, then leans over and kisses Taako one last time before he disappears through it.

Taako leans heavily on the kitchen counter once Kravitz is gone, staring at the empty space he vanished through. He eventually gets himself to look at Magnus’ doorway. The door is closed, but the light still seeps through the cracks, so he’s still awake. Eventually, he sighs, then pushes away from the counter and heads to the door. Before he thinks about how knocking on the door is normal for polite people, he’s already pushing the door open. Magnus is sitting on his bed, cross-legged, back against the wall, eyes closed. He opens them to look at Taako, and Taako looks back for a long moment before he takes a step inside and shuts the door behind him.

“How’s Kravitz?” Magnus asks, and it doesn’t feel mean, or bitter, but Taako still almost flinches at it. He leans against the door, arms folded over his chest, and it feels wrong to be so far away from Magnus after everything.

“He’s good,” Taako replies. “He fucked back off to Ghost World.”

“Oh,” Magnus says. He folds his fingers together. “Is he mad?”

“Is he _mad?”_ Taako repeats. Magnus just stares back at him before raising one of his shoulders in a half-shrug. “No, he’s not mad. Not at you or me.”

“What’d he say, then?” Magnus asks. Taako joins his hands together, then releases them immediately, fiddling with the hem of his skirt instead. “Taako.”

“We talked about it,” Taako says. “He’s cool.”

Magnus is silent, so Taako looks up at him to see what he’s doing. He’s just staring back at him still.

“He’s… cool,” Magnus repeats. “What do you mean, he’s cool? I don’t—”

“He said some stuff about how time is immortal and we’re full of love and he’s cool with this,” Taako says. “It’s like— He wants us all to be happy. He’s happy with the two of us, or— the three of us, I guess.”

“You guess?” Magnus asks.

“I _know,”_ Taako says instead. “I know he’s happy with it. He told me to come tell you and talk to you.”

Magnus looks down at his hands again.

“Is that okay?” Taako asks. Magnus doesn’t move for a long time, but when he does, he nods.

“It makes sense,” Magnus says to his own hands. He looks up at Taako again after a little bit. “I still love Julia so much. Just— so _much,_ Taako, I miss her so _much._ And I— with you— for hundreds of years, and she came after— but then you came after—”

“Don’t strain yourself, Mango,” Taako says. Magnus glances at him, half-glare, half-something else. “I get it. I do. It’s Krav.”

“It’s different.”

“It’s not.” Taako pushes away from the door, but he doesn’t get any closer, just hovers in the middle space. “Do you want this?”

“I’m gonna die,” Magnus says. Taako raises an eyebrow at him.

“Run that one by me again, compadre,” Taako says back. Magnus stares at him, intent.

“I’m gonna die,” Magnus repeats. “Kravitz is— He’s already dead, or whatever. And you’re gonna live so much longer than me. And we don’t get another chance at this, I’m gonna die this time, for real. Forever.”

“Not anytime soon, I hope, you chucklefuck,” Taako says. “And when you die, you’ll get to see Julia again. And when _I_ die, Krav’ll take me to your funky little cottage and you’ll introduce me to Julia and the four of us will live— or, I guess, not live, but like, after-live — happily ever after in some log cabin you built out of ghost trees for the rest of eternity.”

Magnus stares at him through the onslaught. When he’s done, there’s a breath, and then Magnus’ eyes just tear right up, get all glassy as he stares at Taako.

“What?” Magnus asks. Taako sighs.

“Do you want to keep doing this?” he asks. When Magnus doesn’t answer, he motions viciously between the two of them. Magnus stares back.

“I don’t want to— get between anything,” Magnus says. “If Kravitz is… like, if he’s your Julia.”

 _“You_ are my Julia,” Taako says without thinking, and Magnus blinks, and the tears spill down his face, and _fuck._ “And _he’s_ my Julia, too, and I love you both so much, so remember that, because I’m not gonna say it again. If you wanna do this, let’s do it. If you won’t, I won’t make you. I know how to follow consent, compadre, I know the game. I won’t force you into anything with me or him. But I love you. And you should know that.”

They stare at each other for a long moment.

“Can you take off Disguise Self?” Magnus asks, out of nowhere. Taako blinks at him. Magnus still has tears coming down his face, and Taako is bewildered. “Please.”

Taako looks at him, then glances down at his hands. He lifts one of those hands and removes Disguise Self. He hears the bed creak, and when he chances a look up at him, Magnus is leaning forward, elbows on his knees, neck craned so he could look into Taako’s downward-hanging face.

“Baby,” Magnus says, and Taako shuts his eyes. “Don’t. You still look—”

 _“You_ don’t,” Taako interrupts him. “If you— If this is a deal-breaker—”

“Taako,” Magnus interrupts him right back. “I’ve loved you for, like, six thousand years. You think just because— what’d you say, you think you’re not _ethereal_ anymore?”

“Well, I’m not,” Taako replies.

“You are to me,” Magnus says. “What, you think it matters what you look like?”

“It does to _me,”_ Taako says. “It matters to _me_ what I look like.”

“And that’s okay,” Magnus replies, “but obviously that’s not a fucking deal-breaker for me. Have you _seen_ me?”

“What, twelve feet tall, all muscle and beard, lumberjack-ass-looking fuck, best-looking woodsman in every fucking realm?” Taako asks. Magnus laughs, and a couple more tears go down his face, and Taako _aches._ “You’re doing just fine, buddy.”

“Come here,” Magnus says. He holds his arms out, and Taako goes to him, standing at the edge of the bed, leaning against the mattress. Magnus settles his big hands on Taako’s hips, and the heat seeps through him right away. It’s kind of exciting how Magnus and Kravitz balance each other out.

“Are you sure it’s all okay?” Magnus asks. Taako puts his thin hands on Magnus’ broad shoulders.

“You’ll never fucking believe me,” Taako mutters. Magnus raises an eyebrow at him, and Taako digs through his skirt pockets for the Stone of Far Speech that Kravitz had left with him. He channels into Kravitz’s frequency.

“Hey, hot stuff, can you pop into Mags’ room real quick for me?” Taako says, before Kravitz can even say hello. There’s a moment of silence, then a rip opens up in the air of the room and Kravitz steps through, all skulls and robes and fire and brimstone.

“You okay?” Kravitz asks. He glances at Magnus’ hands on Taako’s hips, and Magnus yanks his hands back like he’s been burned.

“Magnus doesn’t believe me,” Taako tells him. Kravitz looks from Taako’s hips to Taako’s face, then to Magnus’ face after a beat.

“Magnus,” Kravitz says, and Taako takes a step back, watching the two of them. “Julia loves you so much.”

Magnus stares at him. He looks to Taako, and Taako looks right back at him. He doesn’t know where this is going any better than Magnus does.

“What?” Magnus says, and he’s crying all over again. The boy’s gonna get dehydrated in a hot minute if he doesn’t calm down.

“She’s waiting for you,” Kravitz tells him, “but she said not to rush yourself. She’s got the house ready for you whenever you’re ready to come home to her, she said.”

“Holy fuck,” Magnus says, dropping his face into his hands. “Can I— Can I visit her?”

“No, I’m sorry,” Kravitz tells him. “But I can tell her you said hello?”

“Yeah, please,” Magnus says. “Tell her— Tell her I’m sorry I couldn’t save her, and that I love her so _much,_ and I miss her every day, and—” He stops, and looks at Taako. Taako looks back. “Tell her… I’m happy. As happy as I can be without her, anyways.”

“She knows it all,” Kravitz says. “But I’ll tell her.” He looks to Taako again. “Did you tell him what I told you?”

“Yeah, buddy, I told him everything you said,” Taako tells him. Kravitz sighs, then closes the rip in between planes and sits at the very edge of the bed, next to Magnus.

“I know Taako can have a hard time communicating,” Kravitz says, “but I’ll tell you what I told him. I’ve been alive— or, _around,_ rather— for a very, very long time. I haven’t loved many people— nobody really wants to talk to Death, well, but that’s its own thing— but I love Taako _deeply._ And he loves me back. And he also loves _you._ And if the way he feels towards you is even— even a _tenth_ of what I feel for him, then who am I to say no?” Kravitz shrugs, then seems to remember himself, saying, “Oh, sorry,” as his face skin stitches itself back over his skull. “You don’t have a lot of time, Magnus. Taako has more time than you, and I have more time than both of you combined. Don’t squander any of that time. Or any of the love you have to give, because you have a lot of love to give. Julia’s told me all about you.”

Magnus is steadily crying through the whole speech, and he looks to Taako when Kravitz takes a breath, which he probably doesn’t need to do, but which it seems Magnus needs him to do _for_ him.

“You didn’t say _any_ of that,” Magnus accuses him, and Taako laughs.

“He _said_ I have a hard time communicating,” Taako reminds him.

“You didn’t always,” Magnus says, and there’s a beat of silence.

“Well,” Kravitz says, standing up again. “I would very much— I’d like it, if we did… this. For whatever time you’d like to be doing this.”

“I’m good with it,” Taako says. Magnus snorts a laugh.

“Thanks, Kravitz,” Magnus replies. Kravitz inclines his head to him, then summons his scythe and cuts a space in the planes again. He looks at Taako before he leaves.

“Communicate better, love,” Kravitz says, and he vanishes through the hole. As it pops out of existence, Taako sighs.

“Well,” Taako says, stepping back into Magnus’ space.

“Am I dating Death?” Magnus asks, before Taako can continue. Taako laughs, startled.

“If you want to be,” Taako replies. “But, first things first.” He climbs over Magnus to sit on the bed next to him, crossing his thin legs over themselves, folding up like he used to. Magnus turns to face him and does the same, and he holds out a hand, palm-up. Taako reaches out and gently places his smaller hand into Magnus’ broader, rougher one.

“You’ve still got—” Magnus says, before reaching up to swipe his thumb on Taako’s face, under his eye, then under to his lips. Taako leans into his palm, turning his face into the worn skin there. “Blood. On your face.”

“From what?” Taako asks. Magnus shrugs.

“Who the fuck knows?” Magnus replies. “You almost died in Wonderland.”

“We _all_ almost died in Wonderland,” Taako reminds him.

“Watching you—” Magnus begins, then stops. “In Wonderland, when you got hurt— And you were just— I don’t know. Standing there. I looked over at you, and you were just—” Magnus shakes his head, looks down, and Taako knows what he’s remembering. He remembers, too, as he had been doubled over, nearly dead, vomiting blood onto the floor, and he had looked up at Magnus, only to find Magnus looking back at him, looking desperately afraid.

“I know,” Taako says. “Look, buddy, we all felt things in Wonderland, let’s not dwell on shit like that.” He turns his hand over and traces the lines of Magnus’ palm. “We got a lot of good memories back instead, think about those ones.”

Magnus hesitates, then leans in, taking Taako’s chin in his free hand, tipping his face up. Taako has a moment to look him in the eye before Magnus is kissing him, his eyes slipping shut as he does so. Taako leans into it, letting his own eyes shut, and before he knows it, Magnus is crawling over him, pressing him into the mattress like he did a hundred years ago, two weeks ago, last night, a lifetime ago. Magnus is huge, and heavy, and he’s kissing him breathless.

“I love you,” Magnus tells him, and Taako suddenly feels tears fill his eyes, and he feels _ridiculous_ for it, but it’s been a horribly overwhelming day and he thinks he’s _allowed,_ alright, because he _feels_ and he _hurts, fuck,_ life is fucking _hard_ today. “Hey, buddy? You okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me, don’t worry about Taako, man, I’m just—” Taako chokes on a breath, his voice breaking open. “It’s been a hell of a day, you know, dude?”

“Yeah,” Magnus agrees, falling to the side. He stays on his side, sliding one arm under Taako and tugging him in close. Taako presses his face into Magnus’ broad, warm chest, the fabric of his shirt soft under Taako’s cheek. Taako reaches up and takes Magnus’ other wrist, pulling it over his waist until Magnus is holding him tight.

“Don’t tell anyone about this,” Taako murmurs into Magnus’ chest.

“Oh, dude, I’m telling _everyone_ about this,” Magnus tells him. Taako bites at his chest, where his skin meets his shirt. “The world’s biggest twink let himself get hugged into oblivion.”

Taako snorts on a laugh, burying his face deeper into Magnus’ chest. “Fucking hell, my guy. I love you.” He gets more comfortable. “That’s the last time I’m gonna say it, so remember that.”

“It’s not,” Magnus says.

“No, it’s not,” Taako agrees. “Get some rest. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

There’s a beat of silence, then Magnus’ chest shakes a little. Taako tips his head back.

“Oh, dude, are you crying again?” Taako asks. Magnus wipes his face onto his pillow, half-laughing, half-crying.

“Shut up,” Magnus says. There’s another beat of silence. “Do you think— I mean. Do you think Kravitz really talks to Julia?”

“He’s _Death,”_ Taako says. “And he also hasn’t lied to me yet. You think he would?”

Magnus is quiet for a little bit. Then he says, “No. I don’t.”

It’s silent again.

“It’s okay to miss her,” Taako tells him. He’s been far more serious today than he has the energy for, but he thinks Magnus kind of needs to hear this. “And love her. And all that shit. She’s doing good. She’ll see you soon— Well, hopefully not _too_ soon, but you know she’s waiting for you.”

Magnus hiccups on a sob, and Taako reaches up to thread his fingers through Magnus’ auburn hair. He scratches down Magnus’ face, through his beard, and thumbs away the tears coming from his eyes.

“You’ll be okay,” Taako tells him. Magnus presses their foreheads together, then kisses Taako, again and again and again, which seems to be his way of saying, _Yeah, I know, and so will you,_ which Taako vaguely agrees might be possible, too.

**Author's Note:**

> I also actually wrote two books! It was a long road but, I did it! Ta-da! If you want to read either of them, shoot me a message!
> 
> I have a blog now to request imagines - I just like to make people happy. Submit requests [here!](https://imagine-in-the-fandoms.tumblr.com/ask)
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter at [@nicolelianesolo](https://twitter.com/nicoIodeon) or on Tumblr at [andillwriteyouatragedy](http://andillwriteyouatragedy.tumblr.com/).


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